Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
