ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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