You made me cry and you don't even care
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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