Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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