jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
