So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You ate ashes out of my bong
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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