I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
