So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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