It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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