its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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