Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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