Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
