You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize