did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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