WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize