Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
