I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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