This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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