PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize