but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
