im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
