So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
