remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Houston, we have a squirter
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
