I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
