I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We need to rekindle our bromance
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
