We won't sleep together?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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