Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
