I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
