If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
