dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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