Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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