somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
