ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
