I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
