Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
