so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
