soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
