Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize