my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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