The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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