i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
