drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
