Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
this is an emotional support booty call
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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