Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
