You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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