I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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