at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
