Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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