Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
