ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
