we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
