I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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