Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
