Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
