i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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