how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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