I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize