I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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