My room smells like vodka and shame
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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