I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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