Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
