Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We just shotgunned beers for America
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
the liver wants what the liver wants
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize