their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
