Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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