I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I cut my penus on the lid.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
