This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
handjob tips. give me some.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
