He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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